No More Tears

No, I am not talking about the Johnson's baby shampoo. You know, Christians, and other people maybe, call certain periods of their lives "seasons." Seasons are used to describe what they are going through during that period of their life. Did I just repeat myself? Anyways, I was in a season of mourning and confusion, if that is a season to be in.

What was I mourning? I was mourning the loss of something, not a person, but something. Something that is bigger than me, that maybe is not supposed to be. I was mourning my covering. I was in a place where I just felt so protected that I did not feel the need to seek God for myself. How dangerous is that? Life was good! I felt good, everything just seemed to be going well. Then all of a sudden for me, everything just went downhill, and I realized I need God more than ever.

The thing at first seemed bigger than me so I felt no need to contend with it because it wasn't affecting me. But then it really started to hit home, and out of no where it was right in front of my face, and I had no idea how to make it go away. So you know what I did? I sat in my comfortable corner and cried as I kept getting pushed towards the middle. I was like a baby being thrown into a crowd of aunties and uncles that I've never met before, trying to take turns holding me and telling me who they are to me. But I'm just a baby, who only knows the one who's been feeding me and taking care of me all these years, so these aunts and uncles and how they know me starts to confuse me. I even start to wonder, is the one feeding me, feeding me well? Or are the aunties and uncles my enemies of progress. Did that make sense?

Anyways, my season of mourning is over, because the issue in my life has changed. And people aren't allowed to see me like this anymore. I'm too cool for this. Crying is cool though, cry all you want kids. But after crying, you gotta pull yourself back up and deal with the issue through prayer, and fasting. You gotta get your answers from the one with all the answers, and not just sit around letting everyone confuse you. Everything you do is a choice. Nobody or nothing can force you. You can't be in the middle forever either..

I'm deciding..soon. But I've already decided, to follow Jesus.