Know Thyself

I never realized how much I don't know anything about myself until I had my first job interview as a college student and they specifically asked me to "tell them about myself." I didn't know what else to say besides what was...on my resume. They went on to ask me more about myself and I could barely answer those simple questions. I even started wondering why the heck am I sitting here having this interview for an on-campus job that only pays $8.50 an hour, if it was really worth it to wait and see if I'm qualified for a second interview, and whether or not I will lose any cool points if I decide to get up and just leave right in the middle of this very awkward interview.

Long story short, they asked me in for a second interview. That is God's grace, favor, and mercy over my life. There is no way my interviewer thought my answers were good enough for a second interview. Seriously I still have a mini-meltdown in my bed thinking about some of the things that came out of my mouth. I thought I would never have to see them again and relive that moment, but I will, on Monday.

After my first interview, I walked around campus, into my wannabe 'secret place' and wrote down a list of characteristics God has placed inside of me. I'm supposed to be memorizing them. I'm even supposed to know characteristics about myself off head! Good ones at least. But I don't. All I know is that I'm awkward, partly because I continuously say that I am.

Being in college is just so much different than any other experience I've ever been through in my life. It's a grown up world. A new-level of independency. Rarely does anything get handed to you. You can even lose yourself before finding yourself. There has been so many nights where I've stayed up looking at other people my age just be so successful in college while I struggle to find a reason to get out of bed and go to my afternoon classes. I search for who I want to be in other people, and not for inspiration. And I can tell you it's been miserable doing so.

I say all this to say, that it is important to know who you are. Because people will ask. They will literally ask you to tell them about yourself, your strengths, your weakness, and times where you were ever a leader and you better have a good example. If you are like me, who is still a lost freshman finding her way through life, her identity, and the will God has for her, you have to start somewhere. Talk to yourself in the mirror, ask God for boldness or even the ability to talk to people, figure out how to 'sell' yourself, find your strengths and weaknesses and talents. Let God show you who you are daily. Do something. My awkward moments sometimes cannot be avoided and are permanently stuck in my memory for a long time but I make the best of it. This interview on Monday will be much better by God's grace. It seriously has to be.

Pray for me y'all.

Anyways, maybe this summer I'll figure it all out. Eventually things get better, if you want it to.