Singleness

HERE I GO. You know what I don't see enough of? Single people, my age, who actually enjoy being single. I also don't see enough of teachings and examples of how to just simply live in your season of singleness, for people my age at least. I hear and see so much about relationships and so many people I know are courting and have so much to say about it, but the single ones are mute! What y'all thinking 'bout? Are they enjoying their season of being single? Are they thinking of someone they want to marry? Are they even ready for marriage?

The people who are "dating" with the purpose of marriage are well above my age, most have graduated or are in their final year of college. I am only 18, but I know too much about relationships and not much on how to just live as a single person right now that will eventually prepare for marriage. It may be because people just assume that at this age, you should not even been thinking of marriage. WRONG. Hey, I never used to up until I turned 18. Before that, I hated the idea of marriage, love, intimacy, unity, and relationships and saw no purpose in any of it. Almost every marriage I saw ended in divorce, and every relationship I've witnessed included arguments and break-ups to make-up that I wanted no part of. All I saw was emotional distress and unhappy people.

But now I'm all around it. 2014 was the year of courtship, and 2015 is now the year of marriage. You cannot tell me to wait until I'm "ready" or "mature" to discuss these things because I am always around it. Li-ter-ally. I am still very well grossed out about the thought of the latter, but now in some strange way I can see myself being a wife someday. I know, I can't believe it either.

Honestly, now I think about it all the time. It gets annoying. The annoying part is the fact that I have a few more years to go before I can even be considered in the singles ministry, and that is a problem. Some of the people I know starting 'courting' at my age! I think about marriage and being with someone all the time! Right now! So how can I wait until I am 21 to finally be able to talk to other people about what is going on with me right now this instant? Do I just keep it to myself? Do I listen to those old heads that tell me to just wait until I am of age? Of course not, that is how I will fall into sin.

I believe I am old enough to know, but I also believe that in order to understand, I have to start with my relationship with Jesus. I am married to Him first. He is the one who will teach me how to love others and mold me into the woman that will become this amazing wife blah blah some day. He will show me that marriage, love, intimacy, unity, and relationships are not some icky concepts, and can be practiced with the people I interact with now on a daily basis. He will also show me that marriage does not have to end in heartbreak.  It's not a desire I should be ashamed of or hide because it's just not common in my age group. It's not something I should run away from either.

As He begins to show me all these things, I will enjoy the process, and not rush any of it. I will trust His direction and Him alone because the plans He has for me is so much greater than what I have for myself (lol).

I don't want marriage to be my focus, though I desire it later on in my life. My single ministry starts now, I believe. I'll enjoy being single as much as I can with no future regrets on the things I could've done when I was single, I hear that way too much. I won't let what I see in my face constantly, good or bad, influence my views on anything concerning this... stuff. God is who I look onto. I will be the 100 dollar bill that everyone wants. No jk.

I just have to glo' up first.